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Adam McAlavey

REDMAN

 

It all fell down a long time ago but everyone acts like nothing’s changed. As far as I could see the birds went first, then the cat and dogs. It happened that way all over. Today the last tower fell down. I didn’t see it but I know the sound and for the rest of the morning I could taste the dust.

For the last week I’ve only seen her once, she won’t come out anymore and it’s a fight for me to get in. I’m much too tired.

I’d been avoiding it but yesterday I finally went out to see William. The streets aren’t good for walking anymore but the air was good. This whole thing has made people busy, those who are still around make more noise than ever. There’s no doubt it’s a mess. It never occurred to me that he’d be affected but when I got there it was clear he’d gone. The dust had got in and was taking over. When I saw the bottle by the stairs I knew he’d suffered. I sat in the dust all night and fought to keep out these last days.

Even though the sky doesn’t change anymore I could tell it was morning. All the way back was filled with the usual trouble but some how no one bothered me. I don’t have to eat any more and drinking hurts. Now the idea of putting something in my mouth just seems ridiculous.

Out of the window I can see a group of the worst. It must have got to them a long time ago, I won’t let myself get that bad. Even though they have no eyes and their ears are gone, they’ve still found each other. Some of them still have hands but I can’t see any fingers. They stand around like a group of friends, that’s what made me cry.

I’d given up when she called for me, it took a long time to come round. She needed help but she was stronger then I’d seen her in a long time. She was urgent and hopeful and after she’d said her piece I knew we’d see it through. It involved the end but it was a beautiful plan and we got busy.

Two days later when we got to the field of children she showed no sign of giving up. We agreed it was best for them like this. I saw one of their faces in the grass, it would have made me sick but I have nothing inside my stomach, later we set off along the hedges following the smell of sulphur.

Long days. For some reason I keep remembering that waving cat in the shop window. I thought about telling her but she wont listen to me any more. These are long days, the silence is strained, it’s clear she’s suffering but she wont stop.

 

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